JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
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[Anon]
quintero_ramonpaolo
pacquing_jemimah
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B+
alcala_joseph
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remigio_raphael
sasot_zharlene
Quilatan_VictoriaLouise
villarino_yza08
valiente_rodney
cuevas_johnmar
ramos_jervy
sugdews
35 posters
Page 1 of 5
Page 1 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
mag post naman kayo ng jokes dito para mabigyan ng buhay tong forums.
example:
miss pra kang SM....
bec. youve got it all
________________________________________________
Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your
answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
__________________________________________________
Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang surf at tide, bubula kaya??
Misis: aba xmpre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bkit naman??
Promoter: Wala pa ngang tubig eh.. excited ka??
example:
miss pra kang SM....
bec. youve got it all
________________________________________________
Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your
answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
__________________________________________________
Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang surf at tide, bubula kaya??
Misis: aba xmpre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bkit naman??
Promoter: Wala pa ngang tubig eh.. excited ka??
sugdews- Posts : 10
Forum Points : 15
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-01
Age : 28
Location : las pinas city
haay
tumawa naman kayo diyan kahit korny.
sugdews- Posts : 10
Forum Points : 15
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-01
Age : 28
Location : las pinas city
more jokes na corny!
HAHAHA ang korny nito
______________________________________
Boy: Mhal kta, i luv u! kht Lindol, sunog, tsunami at tornado ppnthan kta s inyo,…
Girl: Bkt ng birthday q wla k?…
Boy: ano kc…
umaambon!!…
_______________________________________
Apo: Lola kung kyo c eva kkagtin nyo b ung mansanas?
Lola: Pano k kkagtin e wla n kong ngipin lokong bata to’
_______________________________________
NNAY: Lkas mo kmain pro d k mau2san. Ang kpal mo!
ANAK: kpg ung bbOy ntn mlkas kmain n22wa k. Cnu b tlg anak mo, aq o ung bbOy? UmayOs k nay, d k nkk2wa!
________________________________________
INA: Anak! dumudugo daliri mo!
Akina’t ccpcpin q dali! Tsup! Tsup!
Ayn, wla na. San ka ba nasugatan anak?
ANAK: Wla pO q sugat.
Tineres q Lng pO mga garapata ni browny! = P
________________________________________
Exercise daily
kip ur
body healthy.
Like my Lola,
she was 75
wen she started
walking 5 miles
a day.
Now she’s 98
and until now,
di pa umuuwi…
wla b jan?!?
______________________________________
Boy: Mhal kta, i luv u! kht Lindol, sunog, tsunami at tornado ppnthan kta s inyo,…
Girl: Bkt ng birthday q wla k?…
Boy: ano kc…
umaambon!!…
_______________________________________
Apo: Lola kung kyo c eva kkagtin nyo b ung mansanas?
Lola: Pano k kkagtin e wla n kong ngipin lokong bata to’
_______________________________________
NNAY: Lkas mo kmain pro d k mau2san. Ang kpal mo!
ANAK: kpg ung bbOy ntn mlkas kmain n22wa k. Cnu b tlg anak mo, aq o ung bbOy? UmayOs k nay, d k nkk2wa!
________________________________________
INA: Anak! dumudugo daliri mo!
Akina’t ccpcpin q dali! Tsup! Tsup!
Ayn, wla na. San ka ba nasugatan anak?
ANAK: Wla pO q sugat.
Tineres q Lng pO mga garapata ni browny! = P
________________________________________
Exercise daily
kip ur
body healthy.
Like my Lola,
she was 75
wen she started
walking 5 miles
a day.
Now she’s 98
and until now,
di pa umuuwi…
wla b jan?!?
Ways To Know You Are A Filipino
Ways To Know You Are A Filipino
1. You point with your lips
2. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
4. You smile for no reason.
5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
8. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
9. You like everything imported or "state-side."
10. You Check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
11. You always offer food to all your visitors.
12. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
13. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
14. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
15. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
16. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger"(pronounced ham-boor-jer)
17. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
18. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
19. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
20. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
21. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
22. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
23. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
24. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."
25. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
26. You own a Karaoke System.
27. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
28. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar. schwing...)
29. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax
30. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room
31. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
32. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
33. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
34. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
35. This you 'll agree 100% ... Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.
1. You point with your lips
2. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
4. You smile for no reason.
5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
8. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
9. You like everything imported or "state-side."
10. You Check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
11. You always offer food to all your visitors.
12. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
13. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
14. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
15. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
16. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger"(pronounced ham-boor-jer)
17. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
18. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
19. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
20. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
21. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
22. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
23. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
24. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."
25. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
26. You own a Karaoke System.
27. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
28. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar. schwing...)
29. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax
30. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room
31. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
32. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
33. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
34. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
35. This you 'll agree 100% ... Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.
cuevas_johnmar- Posts : 4
Forum Points : 8
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-11
Age : 28
Location : Cavite
JOKES!!!!
Before And After Marriage
-------------------------------
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After marriage - - -
Simply read from bottom to top
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Nice Joke
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....
On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You *i have a foul mouth*; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down.....
-------------------------------
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After marriage - - -
Simply read from bottom to top
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Nice Joke
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....
On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You *i have a foul mouth*; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down.....
valiente_rodney- Posts : 2
Forum Points : 0
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-08
Age : 29
Location : Philippines
LOLx.
May 2 magkumpare naguusap:
Pare1: pre me joke ako!
Pare2: sige anu yun?
Pare1: ilan ang liter ng coke?
Pare2: Eh di isa lng!
Pare1: mali! apat!
Pare2: huh? paano? bakit?
Pare1: liter C liter O liter K liter E, di ba, edi apat, hehehe, eto pa, anung mas malaki sa city??
Pare2: huh? sige anu?
Pare1: eh di UTSU! hehehe eto last, anung tagalog ng street?
Pare2: anu??
Pare1: eh di diritsu!! get it get it!
Pare1: pre me joke ako!
Pare2: sige anu yun?
Pare1: ilan ang liter ng coke?
Pare2: Eh di isa lng!
Pare1: mali! apat!
Pare2: huh? paano? bakit?
Pare1: liter C liter O liter K liter E, di ba, edi apat, hehehe, eto pa, anung mas malaki sa city??
Pare2: huh? sige anu?
Pare1: eh di UTSU! hehehe eto last, anung tagalog ng street?
Pare2: anu??
Pare1: eh di diritsu!! get it get it!
villarino_yza08- Posts : 9
Forum Points : 10
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-06-06
Age : 29
Location : Bacoor, Cavite
jokes
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang
piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!
________________________________________________________________________
BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali! Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak.
BOY: anu ba yan! Mali na naman ako!!!
________________________________________________________________________
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
________________________________________________________________________
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
________________________________________________________________________
(pag gusto niyo pa ng jokes, konsultahin nyo nalang ako. haha ang dami kasi e baka di na magkasya dito.)
piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!
________________________________________________________________________
BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali! Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak.
BOY: anu ba yan! Mali na naman ako!!!
________________________________________________________________________
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
________________________________________________________________________
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
________________________________________________________________________
(pag gusto niyo pa ng jokes, konsultahin nyo nalang ako. haha ang dami kasi e baka di na magkasya dito.)
Quilatan_VictoriaLouise- Posts : 587
Forum Points : 599
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2009-07-08
Age : 28
Location : Las Pinas City
joke
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he threw huge figures around and around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and ask the visitor. Can I help you? The man said, Sure I've come to install the phone.
sasot_zharlene- Posts : 14
Forum Points : 10
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-16
Age : 28
Location : las pinas
jokes..daw
Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito! pag namuti, white
gold! pag huminto stopwatch!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband: "Parati na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!"
Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men Into
women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for
nothing, and urinate while sitting!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Nanay: Bbo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bbo si tatay inay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, "tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko."
gold! pag huminto stopwatch!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband: "Parati na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!"
Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men Into
women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for
nothing, and urinate while sitting!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Nanay: Bbo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bbo si tatay inay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, "tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko."
remigio_raphael- Posts : 42
Forum Points : 54
Reputation : 5
Join date : 2009-07-16
Age : 30
Location : Casimiro, Talon Dos, LPC
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
sna naman magustuhan nyo..
--------------------------------------------------------
Namamasyal sa park ang mag-amang Caloy at ang 3 taong gulang na anak nang may dumaan na mag-inang pusa.
Caloy: Uy, look anak. Anong tawag doon (sabay turo sa inang pusa).
Anak: *i have a foul mouth* (bulol pa kasing magsalita)
Caloy: Anak, pusa hindi *i have a foul mouth*. Don’t say bad words, ok? O sige, ulitin natin. Anong tawag doon (sabay turo naman sa kuting).
Anak: (Mayabang at nakangiti pang sumagot) Anak ng *i have a foul mouth*.
--------------------------------------------------------
isang araw nasa kotse si erap at ang driver nya at bago sila umalis pinacheck ng driver kay erap kung nagwowork ang signal light ng kotse
driver: Sir pakitignan naman po kung nagana ang signal light natin
erap: (sumilip sa binatana)
driver: sir ano gawa po ba?
erap: ay gawa.. ay sira.. ay gawa.. ay sira..ay gawa..ay sira
--------------------------------------------------------
Q: bkt hnd ng jajacuzzi ang mga kalbo?
A: ksi mgmumuka clang fishball
--------------------------------------------------------
women are stronger than men why?
because,women can carry two mountains at a time,
while men can carry 2 eggs;
take note with the help of the bird pa.
--------------------------------------------------------
isang lalake sumakay sa jip at lahat ng pasahero nakatingin sa kanya. nung magbayad ito walang umaabot ng bayad..
(at ng may bumulong sa kanya na matanda)
matanda: boy, umalis ka na dito hanggat may pagkakataon ka pa..
lalake: bakit po?
matanda: *i have a foul mouth*! inarkila ko to..
--------------------------------------------------------
Erap in Library
‘What time does the library open?’ Erap on the phone asked.
‘Nine A.M. ‘ came the reply. ‘And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?’
‘Not until nine A.M.?’ Erap asked in a disappointed voice.
‘No, not till nine A.M.!’ the librarian said.
‘Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?’
‘ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. ‘I want to get out!’
--------------------------------------------------------
ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)
ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~
LOI: *i have a foul mouth*! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~
ERAP: ok!
--------------------------------------------------------
ok n yan.. sna ngustuhan nyo.
--------------------------------------------------------
Namamasyal sa park ang mag-amang Caloy at ang 3 taong gulang na anak nang may dumaan na mag-inang pusa.
Caloy: Uy, look anak. Anong tawag doon (sabay turo sa inang pusa).
Anak: *i have a foul mouth* (bulol pa kasing magsalita)
Caloy: Anak, pusa hindi *i have a foul mouth*. Don’t say bad words, ok? O sige, ulitin natin. Anong tawag doon (sabay turo naman sa kuting).
Anak: (Mayabang at nakangiti pang sumagot) Anak ng *i have a foul mouth*.
--------------------------------------------------------
isang araw nasa kotse si erap at ang driver nya at bago sila umalis pinacheck ng driver kay erap kung nagwowork ang signal light ng kotse
driver: Sir pakitignan naman po kung nagana ang signal light natin
erap: (sumilip sa binatana)
driver: sir ano gawa po ba?
erap: ay gawa.. ay sira.. ay gawa.. ay sira..ay gawa..ay sira
--------------------------------------------------------
Q: bkt hnd ng jajacuzzi ang mga kalbo?
A: ksi mgmumuka clang fishball
--------------------------------------------------------
women are stronger than men why?
because,women can carry two mountains at a time,
while men can carry 2 eggs;
take note with the help of the bird pa.
--------------------------------------------------------
isang lalake sumakay sa jip at lahat ng pasahero nakatingin sa kanya. nung magbayad ito walang umaabot ng bayad..
(at ng may bumulong sa kanya na matanda)
matanda: boy, umalis ka na dito hanggat may pagkakataon ka pa..
lalake: bakit po?
matanda: *i have a foul mouth*! inarkila ko to..
--------------------------------------------------------
Erap in Library
‘What time does the library open?’ Erap on the phone asked.
‘Nine A.M. ‘ came the reply. ‘And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?’
‘Not until nine A.M.?’ Erap asked in a disappointed voice.
‘No, not till nine A.M.!’ the librarian said.
‘Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?’
‘ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. ‘I want to get out!’
--------------------------------------------------------
ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)
ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~
LOI: *i have a foul mouth*! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~
ERAP: ok!
--------------------------------------------------------
ok n yan.. sna ngustuhan nyo.
malinao_kenneth- Posts : 16
Forum Points : 15
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 29
Location : Las Pinas City
HAHA
sugdews wrote:mag post naman kayo ng jokes dito para mabigyan ng buhay tong forums.
example:
miss pra kang SM....
bec. youve got it all
________________________________________________
Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your
answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
__________________________________________________
Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang surf at tide, bubula kaya??
Misis: aba xmpre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bkit naman??
Promoter: Wala pa ngang tubig eh.. excited ka??
Natawa ako aaa!
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
Jokes ba to? Cheesy lines would be more appropriate for the forum topic.
razon_zean- Posts : 95
Forum Points : 111
Reputation : 4
Join date : 2009-07-06
Age : 29
Location : Pamplona, Las PiƱas
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
Boy: Miss, are you an angel?
Girl: Huh? Why?
Boy: Because you look like one.
Girl: Ohh..
Boy: *smiles*
Girl: How many pages are you?
Boy: Huh? What do you mean??
Girl: Ang kapal mo eh
so mozzarella
Girl: Huh? Why?
Boy: Because you look like one.
Girl: Ohh..
Boy: *smiles*
Girl: How many pages are you?
Boy: Huh? What do you mean??
Girl: Ang kapal mo eh
so mozzarella
alcala_joseph- Posts : 33
Forum Points : 31
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-19
Age : 30
Location : Bacoor, Cavite PH
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
anong kotse ang maarte??
edi HonDUH..
e ung mas maarte?
edi MazDUH..
nyok.nyok.nyok.
edi HonDUH..
e ung mas maarte?
edi MazDUH..
nyok.nyok.nyok.
B+- Administrator
- Posts : 92
Forum Points : 91
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 30
Location : Las Pinas, Philippines
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
"Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?"
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
vasallaje_czarina- Posts : 1145
Forum Points : 1139
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2009-07-16
Age : 29
Location : Cavite
..
GIRL:May eroplano, kulay pula. Umalis ng Pilipinas. Anong kulay ng eroplano?
BOY:PULA.
GIRL: Tama! Eh, 'yong eroplano... Lumanding sa Amerika.... Ano ng kulay ng eroplano?
BOY: E di pula padin.
GIRL: Doon ka nagkakamali.. Hindi na pula ang kulay ng eroplano.
BOY: E ano na? PUTI?
GIRL: Lalong hindi nuh!
BOY: E ano nga?
GIRL: E 'di ba nga nasa Amerika na, E 'si sympre red na!
Parang ewan lang ee..
BOY:PULA.
GIRL: Tama! Eh, 'yong eroplano... Lumanding sa Amerika.... Ano ng kulay ng eroplano?
BOY: E di pula padin.
GIRL: Doon ka nagkakamali.. Hindi na pula ang kulay ng eroplano.
BOY: E ano na? PUTI?
GIRL: Lalong hindi nuh!
BOY: E ano nga?
GIRL: E 'di ba nga nasa Amerika na, E 'si sympre red na!
Parang ewan lang ee..
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
ang kul8 ng mga jowks d2 ba..
nakakaaliw..
pampawala dn ng stress..
nakakaaliw..
pampawala dn ng stress..
azares_danica- Posts : 173
Forum Points : 178
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-06-21
Age : 29
Location : Las PiƱas City
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
eto pa.....
BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?
________________________________________________
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
________________________________________________
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
________________________________________________
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?
________________________________________________
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
________________________________________________
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
________________________________________________
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
Quilatan_VictoriaLouise- Posts : 587
Forum Points : 599
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2009-07-08
Age : 28
Location : Las Pinas City
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
Natawa ko dun sa mga sinasabi pag umuutot. Nakakrelate eh.
razon_zean- Posts : 95
Forum Points : 111
Reputation : 4
Join date : 2009-07-06
Age : 29
Location : Pamplona, Las PiƱas
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
B+ wrote:anong kotse ang maarte??
edi HonDUH..
e ung mas maarte?
edi MazDUH..
nyok.nyok.nyok.
grabe, ntwa tlga ko dito!
1 more
eto.. last nalang talaga...
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
_______________________________________________
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!
_______________________________________________
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang _expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw _expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo _expression ng face niya!
_______________________________________________
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede? "uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir!...
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
_______________________________________________
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!
_______________________________________________
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang _expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw _expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo _expression ng face niya!
_______________________________________________
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede? "uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir!...
Quilatan_VictoriaLouise- Posts : 587
Forum Points : 599
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2009-07-08
Age : 28
Location : Las Pinas City
joke
2 bungi nag-asaran
B1: pre, ganda ng ipin mo ah! parang exams
B2: bakit naman?
B1: 1 seat apart! hahaha
B2: sa'yo din naman ah, kasama sa exam.
B1: bakit?
B2: fill in the blanks!
---------------------------------------------------------
USA: we are the first in the moon.
Pinoy: we will be the first in the sun.
USA: you cant land in the sun, too hot.
Pinoy: We are not *i have a foul mouth*! we will go there at night!
---------------------------------------------------------
It's so nice when you're sleeping and someone touches your back
very slowly moving towards your neck, right very close to your ears
and slowly whisper..
...nakikiliti ka ba?
ipis ako!
--------------------------------------------------------
Minsan sa buhay
ika'y nadapa,
gumulong,
naputikan,
naapakan ng iba...
pero natuto kang bumangon
humarap sa lahat
at sabihing...
NYEEH!!NYEHH!!!NYEEH!!!
di naman masaket:p
-----------------------------------------------------
Piglet sat beside pooh & said...
"pooh?"
"yes piglet"
"nuthin" said piglet..
piglet took pooh's hand and said...
mas mataba ka pa nga saken dapat ikaw ang piglet!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Man: What's your father's name?
Boy: His name is LAUGHING.
Man: and your mother's name?
Boy: SMILING.
Man: are you KIDDING?
Boy: no sir, that's my brother's name. I am JOKING.
--------------------------------------------------------
7 best things to do when bored:
1. papakin ang kape kunwari milo.
2. pag-aralan ang linggwahe ng ipis at kaibiganin
3. punuin mo ng tubig ang inodoro
4. baklasin ang tv at gawing radio
5. pagkasyahin ang sarili sa ref
6. sunugin ang bahay at sumigaw ng yehey!!
B1: pre, ganda ng ipin mo ah! parang exams
B2: bakit naman?
B1: 1 seat apart! hahaha
B2: sa'yo din naman ah, kasama sa exam.
B1: bakit?
B2: fill in the blanks!
---------------------------------------------------------
USA: we are the first in the moon.
Pinoy: we will be the first in the sun.
USA: you cant land in the sun, too hot.
Pinoy: We are not *i have a foul mouth*! we will go there at night!
---------------------------------------------------------
It's so nice when you're sleeping and someone touches your back
very slowly moving towards your neck, right very close to your ears
and slowly whisper..
...nakikiliti ka ba?
ipis ako!
--------------------------------------------------------
Minsan sa buhay
ika'y nadapa,
gumulong,
naputikan,
naapakan ng iba...
pero natuto kang bumangon
humarap sa lahat
at sabihing...
NYEEH!!NYEHH!!!NYEEH!!!
di naman masaket:p
-----------------------------------------------------
Piglet sat beside pooh & said...
"pooh?"
"yes piglet"
"nuthin" said piglet..
piglet took pooh's hand and said...
mas mataba ka pa nga saken dapat ikaw ang piglet!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Man: What's your father's name?
Boy: His name is LAUGHING.
Man: and your mother's name?
Boy: SMILING.
Man: are you KIDDING?
Boy: no sir, that's my brother's name. I am JOKING.
--------------------------------------------------------
7 best things to do when bored:
1. papakin ang kape kunwari milo.
2. pag-aralan ang linggwahe ng ipis at kaibiganin
3. punuin mo ng tubig ang inodoro
4. baklasin ang tv at gawing radio
5. pagkasyahin ang sarili sa ref
6. sunugin ang bahay at sumigaw ng yehey!!
sasot_zharlene- Posts : 14
Forum Points : 10
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-16
Age : 28
Location : las pinas
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
haha may mental illness na yata yung taong iyan a.sasot_zharlene wrote:
7 best things to do when bored:
1. papakin ang kape kunwari milo.
2. pag-aralan ang linggwahe ng ipis at kaibiganin
3. punuin mo ng tubig ang inodoro
4. baklasin ang tv at gawing radio
5. pagkasyahin ang sarili sa ref
6. sunugin ang bahay at sumigaw ng yehey!!
Quilatan_VictoriaLouise- Posts : 587
Forum Points : 599
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2009-07-08
Age : 28
Location : Las Pinas City
haha ang saya naman dto !!!!
haha nkakatuwa naman tong topic na toh !!
Angelina: Yaya ! nakakita ka na ba ng elepanteng nagtatago sa highway ?
Yaya:Hindi pa, kaw? nakakita ka na ba ?
Angelina: Nagtatago nga eh ! ur so *i have a foul mouth* yaya ! ur such a loser !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kumakanta si Erap with his pamangkin…
Erap : put your right feet in, put your left feet out
Pamangkin : Uncle, foot un!
Erap : Ah ganon ba
Muling kumanta si Erap….
Erap : foot your right feet in, foot your left feet out----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Erap: ‘Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!’
Doc.: ‘Is it choking?’
Erap: ‘No, it is Max’s.’
Doc.: ‘I don’t mean ‘Chow King’, I mean, are you choking….’
Erap: ‘No, Doc! Serioso ako, Doc!’
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hihi kawawa naman c erap !!
Angelina: Yaya ! nakakita ka na ba ng elepanteng nagtatago sa highway ?
Yaya:Hindi pa, kaw? nakakita ka na ba ?
Angelina: Nagtatago nga eh ! ur so *i have a foul mouth* yaya ! ur such a loser !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kumakanta si Erap with his pamangkin…
Erap : put your right feet in, put your left feet out
Pamangkin : Uncle, foot un!
Erap : Ah ganon ba
Muling kumanta si Erap….
Erap : foot your right feet in, foot your left feet out----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Erap: ‘Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!’
Doc.: ‘Is it choking?’
Erap: ‘No, it is Max’s.’
Doc.: ‘I don’t mean ‘Chow King’, I mean, are you choking….’
Erap: ‘No, Doc! Serioso ako, Doc!’
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hihi kawawa naman c erap !!
estimo_princess- Posts : 26
Forum Points : 26
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2009-07-28
Age : 30
Location : bahay
Re: JOKE. JOKE. JOKE!
ANAK: tay! sino mas mahal mo, ako o si nanay?
TATAY: syempre ikaw anak.....
ANAK: kaya pala kapag madaling araw,
ako po ay kinukumutan niyo
at si nanay naman po ay
hinuhubaran niyo......
sweet niyo tlga tay, a lab u....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bakit ang sign na: NO ID ENTRY NO ENTRY na malimiy natin nakikita sa mga school ay hindi tinitagalog? Answer: Kasi pag tinagalog yan: WALA ID WALA PASOK...........
NGEEeeeekkkk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sa Isang Jeep
Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?
Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum
Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.
Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.
Driver: Kulang Ito!
Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?
Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.
Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANAK:Nanay,Hihingi sana aq ng 500.
NANAY: ano 400?Ang laki naman ng 300!Anu ggwin mo sa 200?Kala mo ba madali
lang makita ng 100!50 nga hirap q pa kitain 20 pa kaya!Oh eto 5!./
Hahaha:)) epal ng nanay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M1: last month,ipinakilala ko ung GF ko sa lolo kong milyunaryo.
M2: Anong nangyari?Boto ba lolo mo?
M1:lola ko na sya ngaun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sa disco
LALAKE:miss you wanna dance?
BABAE:sure why not?
pagalis ng babae sa kanyang upuan......
LALAKE:hay salamat nakaupo rin ako
panget nung ibang joke..
TATAY: syempre ikaw anak.....
ANAK: kaya pala kapag madaling araw,
ako po ay kinukumutan niyo
at si nanay naman po ay
hinuhubaran niyo......
sweet niyo tlga tay, a lab u....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bakit ang sign na: NO ID ENTRY NO ENTRY na malimiy natin nakikita sa mga school ay hindi tinitagalog? Answer: Kasi pag tinagalog yan: WALA ID WALA PASOK...........
NGEEeeeekkkk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sa Isang Jeep
Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?
Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum
Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.
Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.
Driver: Kulang Ito!
Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?
Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.
Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANAK:Nanay,Hihingi sana aq ng 500.
NANAY: ano 400?Ang laki naman ng 300!Anu ggwin mo sa 200?Kala mo ba madali
lang makita ng 100!50 nga hirap q pa kitain 20 pa kaya!Oh eto 5!./
Hahaha:)) epal ng nanay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M1: last month,ipinakilala ko ung GF ko sa lolo kong milyunaryo.
M2: Anong nangyari?Boto ba lolo mo?
M1:lola ko na sya ngaun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sa disco
LALAKE:miss you wanna dance?
BABAE:sure why not?
pagalis ng babae sa kanyang upuan......
LALAKE:hay salamat nakaupo rin ako
panget nung ibang joke..
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